Jax is Famous

Ok, maybe famous is a bit of a stretch, let's go with local celebrity.  At least he thinks so, and what kid wouldn't... he can't go anywhere around town without someone asking "are you that kid from the newspaper"?  Yep, he is.  From the cover of the newspaper in fact, and 2 weeks in a row. 

When Jax started his fundraiser for the orphanage someone suggested that we contact the local paper so I mentioned it to someone I kind of knew from when I had written some articles for the paper.  Then surprise, the week after we returned from our adventure I got a call from a reporter at the Daily News Record, Harrisonburg's local newspaper, and they wanted to interview me and Jax.  We both proudly, in our own ways, told the reporter all about Jax's story, his fundraiser, and our trip.  Sure enough a couple weeks later the newspaper arrives on our front porch and there is baby Jax on the front cover: Born of Revolution, Part I!

The first part of the story was a bit of a surprise for us, focusing on his adoption.  The second part is what we were looking forward to, the part about him raising money to take to the orphanage. 

The lady at the post office, the grocery store clerk, camp counselors, teachers, you name it they saw it.  Jax is pretty humble about his fame, but enjoying it for sure.  One of the things that struck us most is how many people still read the newspaper! 

I have no idea how to or if I'm even allowed to post the article here, probably not, so if you want to read it send me an email and I'll try to get you a copy -- we only asked every single person we know to give us their paper those days!  This is yet another proud mommy moment and totally scrap book worthy, as Jax has already reminded me numerous times.  

These were the two cover photos:

Ukrainian Orphan Finds Place with Bridgewater Family

 

Kid Gets Cooking

What I've Learned About My Kids

1. They are awesome!!!  Let's just start with that.

2. They are traveling masters.  They traveled better than some adults I've seen.  And this trip sure did put them to the test with numerous flights, long car rides, hours in airports and lines.  Never once did we have to remind them to put on a seat belt, stop kicking the seat, or to stop screaming.  Maybe there is something magical about mega trips because now that I'm editing this I'm thinking back to just yesterday when I had to remind them of all three of those things just to get from our driveway to the church - 5 whole long minutes.  But even on the long trip home from Europe which was a total bummer (because we all still wanted to be on vacation) they did amazingly well. 

It reminds me of last summer when Jax and I missed a connecting flight home from San Francisco and had to spend the night in the airport.  While other people were angrily complaining and fretting Jax walked right over to the map and started studying it.  When I asked him what he was doing he said "I'm looking up all the 24-hour restaurants so we know where to go if we get hungry".  Then we settled down with some blankets the airline had given us and never once did he complain. 

Here's how we made the most of our time on the subway:

 Of course Cullen is sleeping, what else. 

The silly faces game never gets dull.  I promise they can do better than this.


We were certainly bored by the time we were waiting for our 4th flight home so in between dreaming about where we might travel next we pulled out this little trick, thanks to a tip from some awesome friends who have traveled with kids!

Blue painters tape, aka hours of entertainment.  They can tape anything they want and never ruin a thing, fantastic!  Folks, try this at home!

3. Maybe this should have been #1 -- They don't know how to be quiet.  This is not unique to when we are traveling, but it certainly becomes more obvious when we are in a foreign country where their loud English speaking draws attention.  Of course maybe it is best that they were speaking a foreign language, at least in France when they said "Hey, look at that lady..." she couldn't understand what they were saying.  Or one of my personal favorites, "don't they know that smoking is bad for them" (though sometimes not quite that nicely put). And they certainly had plenty of chances to say that in both France and Europe. 

Often times their noise was not bad, just noisy.  Living in hotels and apartments where I was concerned about them waking the neighbors - at 6am because they certainly weren't sleeping in! - really made me realize how loud they are and I guess I'm just really good at tuning it out at home.  If you want a good laugh just ask Cullen to whisper, it's hilarious hearing him try, though maybe not so much if you were our neighbor at 6am.  I suppose that noise is just part of what comes with a large family, and especially with a super talkative older brother, you have to be loud to get a word in and they have all mastered that skill. 

4.  When they finally are quiet it means they are sleeping and that is so sweet.  It's always such a joy to watch babies sleep, so peacefully, and these are still my babies.  

Someday Jax will look back at this picture and be so embarrassed but there was no air conditioning in this 5th floor apartment, they were exhausted and hot and I think it is so cute -- now he's even more embarrassed that I called him cute :)

5.  They may think I'm goofy but sometimes that is appreciated.  Exhibt #1, the silly calendar I made for them to track our trip.  Ethan used it every day:

 

Jax never seemed to look at his but once we got home he put it up on his shelf.  Did you hear that, it made the shelf!  So what if it is behind his rain-gutter regatta trophy and star wars figures, the fact that he deemed it worthy of the shelf at all is pretty cool. 

 

And I love the fact that they're not old enough yet to be embarrassed by mom and dad's silly songs and games to keep them moving when they are getting tired or grumpy.  I Wanna Hold Your Hand and Stuck Like Glue are two of our favorites -- thanks Beatles and Sugarland.  Again, goofy but appreciated, at least for now, please don't let them ever grow out of that.

 

There were so many great things about this vacation but getting to spend 3 weeks playing, learning, and experiencing new things with Justin and the kids is most definitely the greatest thing.  Now friends, please remind me of this tomorrow, the day before school (finally) starts while I'm trying to get stuff done and they are all trying to strangle each other, or I'm ready to strangle them.   

Then and Now

We are finally getting back to normal, which really isn't saying much :).  But really, it is nice to be able to sleep past 5am and to get back into routine.  On Saturday Cullen fell soundly asleep at 5pm, of course we could foresee 3am the next morning so we were determined to get him to WAKE UP!  I thought we finally had him up so I stepped into the kitchen and I came back to find this:

Completely back asleep, practically standing up!  Notice that we had to revert to the old strip him down technique, we hadn't pulled out the cold washcloth, yet.  This reminded me of when we took him to get his passport photo made at 3 weeks old, he had to have his eyes open for the picture, it went almost exactly like this - except that time his excuse was he was 3 weeks old!, this time his excuse was jet lag.  Sure enough, despite our best efforts he was up at 3:30am raring to go.  Sigh.

So now that we are awake I'm starting to look through some pictures and I thought some of you might be interested in seeing some then & now pictures.  Prepare to be amazed!

Kherson Baby Home, Then (2004)

Kherson Baby Home, Now

Katya, Then (2008)

Katya, Now

Same playground with a paint job.  Katya enjoyed it just as much this time as the first time she was there, though she had no memory of being there before.  And she didn't even question why I made her peek through the blocks to take her picture (it was spontaneous in 2008, not so much this time but it's not hard to get her to smile for a camera!).


Jax, Then (2004)

Jax, Now 

He wouldn't let me hold him like a baby, go figure, so no exact comparison with Jax but wow, what an amazing brave boy we have (both then and now)! 

Home Sweet Home

We're home!  That's it, home! 

Not really, you know I have more pictures and stories to tell.  But for now I just wanted to tell everyone that we made it, safe and sound.  We're doing laundry and loving Sammy and the back yard.  Everyone is happy to be here, but missing vacation too, already ready to plan the next one, with lots of interesting debate over where the "next one" should be -- not sure when we'll break it to them that the next one will be many years from now.  For now it is a struggle just to stay awake, but in the coming week I'll post some more.  Here are a few pictures that I don't think ever made it to the blog, more to come.

 

 

Visiting The Orphanage

On July 23, more than 8 years since he left, Jax returned to the orphanage where he lived for his first year of life. 

This day was full of questions and nerves and emotions.  By the end of our two hour visit Jax was already asking when he could come back and play with the kids again, and he has asked multiple times since.  As soon as we arrived in Kiev he had some very good and difficult questions.  Up until the night before we were scheduled to visit the orphanage he wavered in his desire to go there, understandably, but now he seems very glad that he visited and also very glad to be coming home.  

I asked Jax if it was ok for me to write about this on the blog and he said yes.  I asked him what he would like me to say and he said to tell about giving the donation and playing with the kids and that it was good.  I will expand a bit more, with his permission. 

The orphanage he was in is the baby home in Kherson, the kids stay only until age 3 or 4.  Ethan jumped right in and started playing with the little ones when we arrived, they were charmed by him and he loves babies.  Cullen and Katya just started playing, to them this was no different than any other playground.  Jax was understandably a bit timid but didn't want to leave when time was up.  He has commented on how happy most of them seemed when they were playing but how sad they must be inside since they don't have a mom and dad.  How tender and insightful and hard to reconcile. 

There were a few nurses and the director that remembered Jax.  The director is very kind and caring, we were pleased to see her again.  Everyone there seemed thrilled to see him and know how well he was doing.  I think he was a bit overwhelmed with being the center of attention but he handled all the hugs very well, and if you know Jax you know how hard this was for him.  

They gave him a tour of his old group rooms where they ate, slept, and played.  He didn't remember anything but just took it all in, most interested in the kids eating their morning snack.  

When he gave the director his donation ($960, wow!) and explained how he had raised the money she was surprised and very happy.  It was the best reaction we could have hoped for Jax in this long anticipated moment.  She asked if it was ok to use some of the money to buy fresh fruit and ice cream for the children.  Of course Jax was thrilled, food is the thing he most wanted for them and he didn't even have to say so.  What a blessing it was to see God at work in every detail of this visit.  Thank you to everyone who contributed and encouraged and prayed for his fundraiser, this was such a special moment that you helped make possible.

It is impossible to describe or to even know the full impact of this visit.  It is so good that we went and I feel confident that it was overall positive.  The orphanage and especially the play equipment seemed to be in better condition than when we had been there last which was nice to see.  As we remembered, the nurses seemed to really care about and care well for the kids.  It was very good for all of us, but especially Jax to see this firsthand.  

It was also extremely hard for us to leave and say goodbye to the kids there knowing that we were going home as a family, something they may never know.  I have no doubt we will be processing this experience for a long time.  Our continued prayer is that Jax will always talk openly with us about his past, his fears, his questions, his dreams, all of it.  

And of course we pray constantly for orphans, not just here but around the world and in our own towns.  We have faces now to put with some of these prayers, and heavy hearts too.  Constantly on this day and this entire trip we have been reminded of God's provision and care and we are reminded now to trust that He is caring for the kids that we can not tangibly help.

Another unknown with this visit was Katya.  Katya was not in this same orphanage or even this city, but there are many similarities and she has a much better chance of remembering things. God was merciful to her and to our family in that the orphanage visit did not stir up any trauma for her, or at least not that we could tell.  She did say "I remember this room with all the beds next to each other" when we went into the group bedroom, but she did not freak out.  In fact she has slept relatively well for much of the trip, that is nothing short of a miracle.  I was also fearful that certain types of toilets might trigger a negative memory but they didn't.  The food, smells, sights, language all seemed foreign to her for the entire trip, in both France and Ukraine.  She never asked any questions about her town, her adoption, and most often did not really even know what country we were in.  This is for the best in her case, for now at least.  Though we have always been open with the kids and willing to answer any questions about their adoptions I think it is a blessing that Katya understands so little of it right now as she continues to work through her emotional struggles.

Interestingly yesyerday, in addition to multiple questions about when he could come back to play with the kids again Jax also suggested coming back someday and starting a humane society in Ukraine.  He has been struck by all the stray dogs and frustrated that we won't let him pet them all.  In his words, "I have a soft spot in my heart for dogs".  Me too!  Ethan followed this conversation up by asking when we could "fix" Sammy, our 10 year old spayed dog, so they she could have puppies, ha!  But really, what a thoughtful idea and positive response to something that could be viewed very negatively. 

I think and hope that this week in Ukraine has helped Jax to know and understand some of his history and has endeared him to the country of his birth.   We have seen and tasted and experienced so many great things that Ukraine and specifically Kherson has to offer. I also know that this week has exposed him to some realities that are hard to imagine when a comfortable life in the U.S. is all you have ever known.  He has avoided conversation about most of this for now.

Jax has a huge heart and I hope there is always a place in it for Ukraine and for orphans.  I am in awe of his maturity and generosity and strenght.  What an amazing kid and gift to our family!  We are blessed to have four unique, special, wonderful kids!  

I love to look at these pictures and notice most prominently the smile on Jax's face in every one.  Even when he was hanging back taking it all in he was still smiling.

As we all sat around the table for lunch after the visit we were eating something that was familiar to him from our home and he said, "It feels like home.  Well, I guess I am at home in a way."  :)

I want to publicly thank Gene for helping us make this visit possible.  He planned all of our time in Kherson from the amazing excursions to this very special orphanage visit.  He was a wonderful translator and facilitator and we are happy to now call him a friend.  I thank his family for sharing him with us for a few days.

Kherson Memories

I will describe our last real day of vacation in reverse...

But first let me share this very rare treasure, a picture of all the kids smiling (no prompting or bribery involved, Jax posed it).  I guess this was the souvenir they gave to me on our last day, I couldn't imagine a better gift.

We fittingly finished our vacation with a visit to the central playground in Kherson and some ice cream.  This seems like the perfect summary of our trip, a tour of European playgrounds and sweets. 

I guess hamsters are on to something, Jax loved this unique contraption.  And though none are pictured here there is no question that see saws are the favorite and most common piece of playground equipment in Ukraine.  And our kids are like magnets to them.  But I can totally understand why they are all but outlawed in the U.S.  Eventually all the kids learned not to get on one with Jax.  Despite the fact that every one of our kids has some type of scratch or bruise to remember the see saws by, they kept going back for more.  And where would we find Katya?  

That's right, in the sandbox.  Why do we not have one of these in our yard yet?

Now going back to the afternoon... We spent much of the day at this little interactive museum type farm where we visited different stations and learned about Ukrainian history, folklore, games, arts and crafts, and more.  Then we were treated to another traditional Ukrainian lunch, yum.  Gene was even able to coax Cullen into eating a whole bowl of borsch.  I hate to admit it but one of my favorite things was the bread spread with herbed animal fat, aka seasoned lard.  I didn't want to like it but it was impossible not to. 

After lunch each kid could pick two stations to go back and try.  

Cullen picked music:

He loved the "shakers", but the fact that he picked this station was a bit funny since he held his ears through the entire introductory demonstration earlier in the day.  None the less all the kids danced and made music, and the boys got their first (and Mommy hopes last) drum lesson.

Ethan and Jax both picked weapons.  They had all kinds of ancient and modern weapons for them to throw and shoot.  We have no pictures because Mommy couldn't stand to watch.  But they loved it and Jax even picked it again for his second activity.

Katya picked horseback riding.

Cullen tried to ride with her but that didn't last long.  Plus she spent the first half of the ride yelling "Mommy, this isn't safe, I need my helmet".  We've taught her well :) But the second half of the ride was great, she settled in and neither she or the horse master were afraid to walk fast --  mommy was afraid enough for both of them.

All three little kids picked weaving for their second activity.  They demonstrated weaving baskets, but we just tried with ribbons and ended up with very pretty bracelets. 

During the demos Ethan got picked to help with pottery and Katya with art, we'll see if either of these creations survive the trip home, I hope. 

Along the way we saw and learned about so many cool things, like how they used to make sunflower oil:

And how they cook their children, ha!

Jax is the smart one jumping out as quick as he can :). Actially, they said they used these long ago to heat water in the winter and for "swimming" in the summer.  

And we tried some things just for fun:

We were not winning any races on this but it was good for a laugh, go team Lassiter!

One of the coolest parts was the traditional greeting we received when we arrived.  You tear off a price of bread, dip it in the salt in the middle of the loaf, and make a wish.  I wonder what the kids wished for?  Any guesses?  Mommy wished for happy kids and it came true!

Now back to the morning... This morning was the reason we are in Kherson.  The readon we are in Ukraine at all really.  We spent the morning visiting the Kherson Baby Home, the orphanage where Jax lived when he was a baby.  It was a very sweet time but I will write about it in another post.  It is a lot to process and it is Jax's story to tell.  

I will just say that the donation was greatly appreciated, they let us visit with the kids, staff, and tour the facility and overall I think it left a positive impression on Jax.  I know he left a positive impression on them.  It was beyond difficult to walk away from all the sweet children there, but comforting to see them well cared for and to know how to pray for them.  I choked back lots of tears of joy and pride in Jax and sadness too.  And Katya, Ethan, and Cullen all handled it very well too.  We are blessed.

Now we begin the final adventure, our trip home...

We leave Kherson at 3am tonight and drive 8 hours to the airport in Kiev.  From there we fly to Paris with a layover in Germany. We spend the night in Paris then the next day fly to Dulles with a layover in Iceland. We get to Dulles late Thursday night, will spend the night in Herndon then drive home Friday morning.  Did you get all that?  The summary is: 10 hours driving, 4 flights, 14 total hours in the air, 3 layovers, 3 days to get home -- there is no way the iPad battery will hold out that long so wish us luck!  And stay tuned for more pictures and stories when we get home. 

Kings Of The Wind

Jax recently read the book King of the Wind, which is about horses not boats, but it came to mind this morning when I took this picture:

He said, "mom, I feel like the king of the wind!"

We all felt like royalty today.  Khrrson is a city located at the mouth of the Dniper River where it enters into the Black Sea.  It was an important Naval training center and ship building port for the Russian empire.  So this morning we headed down to the port.

It was much nicer than when we were last here.  The kids enjoyed inspecting the fishermens' catch while Justin and I reminisced and admired the improvements.

A few minutes after arriving this beautiful sailboat pulled up, it was for us!  And it turns out that our fantastic captain, Igor, built it himself.  That makes it even more beautiful in my eyes.  I couldn't get a good picture of it while we were sailing of course so you'll have to take my word for it.

After we set sail down the picturesque Dniper River Igor told us that we were free to walk around the boat.  My heart immediately went into palpitations envisioning a child overboard.  Ignoring my fears but not my rules (for threat of staying in the cabin the entire trip) they all headed straight to the front.

Actually I admit that I probably ended up  spending more time up front than anyone except Jax who loved riding the wind.  

Don't you wish you had been here:

And what a rare fun moment for me and Katya!  So while we were busy soaking up the sun and the view, Jax and Ethan were taking turns "drivivg" the boat.

Ethan took this job very seriously.  I don't think he realized that Igor had his foot on the bottom of the steering wheel; he was so good with the kids!

After more than 2 hours of sailing the boat dropped us off at Belogrudov Island, population 60 (we met a tenth of them). This remote 8 mile long island in the Dniper is only accessible by boat and not at all in the winter.  The people are fishermen and live a very old fashioned way of life.  They have no running water, they catch, raise, or grow all their food, and yes we did have to visit their out house!  The kids really do have to walk a mile each way to school in every type of weather, including snow (but not uphill).  

We were met immediately by a host family who had prepared a feast for our lunch!  The fresh off the tree apricots were probably the favorite thing but there was nothing served that wasn't delicious.  It was a mostly fish and veggie based meal and all the kids ate it up!  And to think that they caught, grew, and prepared everything from scratch, we were honored.

After lunch our kids played with their son.  Hide and seek was the favorite game and thankfully requires no common language.  And on this tiny island I was able to actually let them hide, most places we have been I have needed to be able to count heads at any moment so this game was out of the question.  They also got to play with the puppy and other baby animals.  It was a great experience!

Justin tried not to insult them by refusing their homemade vodka but eventually he couldn't keep up, man they sure know how to put it back.  They even tried to convince him that it was ok because this kind of vodka won't give you a hangover.  We weren't going to find out whether or not that was true!

Here are Cullen and Katya waving goodbye to our wonderful hosts and repeatedly shouting "dasvedamya, spaceeba" in their most obnoxious American accents, but hey, at least they were trying.

On the sail back Katya and Cullen took naps on the beds in the cabin.  I generously agreed to supervise them, with my eyes closed :). Jax took a brief cold swim in the Dniper and then he and Justin got a nap in too. 

One of my favorite parts of the day was in the last hour of our trip home, we were all tired and the evening was getting cool so we sat around the table playing name that tune and eating leftover dessert. Everyone was getting along, laughing and singing, it was a perfect ending to the day.  Here is a picture of Cullen sitting with his new buddy Gene, our fabulous guide who arranged this river adventure for us.

Today we got to experience the gem of Kherson, it wax truly a delight.  A beautiful family (if I do say so) on a beautiful boat enjoying a beautiful river and it's banks.  I wish I had the words of a poet to describe this place -- the natural beauty and material poverty, the kindness and strength of the people.  It is a gift to experience firsthand but impossible for this novice writer to truly describe.