Free-for-all Dinner

Every once in a while we have what we call free-for-all dinner. This is the kids FAVORITE meal! Forget gourmet dinners or even the coveted McDonalds, free-for-all gets more cheers than any other meal.  So here's your clue to what free-for-all dinner is (if the name didn't give it away): We have it whenever I need to clean out the fridge.  

That's it, nothing fancy, everyone gets to raid the fridge and pantry and come up with whatever special meal they like.  The only rule is no candy or exclusively dessert foods (cookies, ice cream).  It could just as aptly be named "chaos in the kitchen".  What makes it to the table is a mish-mosh of leftovers and staples. Every plate looks different and pretty well represents the personality of the creator, someone could have a hay day psychoanalyzing us based on our free-for-all dinner plates.  So tonight was a free-for-all night, a night when even Cullen eats dinner, and here's what his plate looked like:

Your eyes are not deceiving you, that is chips dipped in chocolate syrup! Anyone want to analyze that? And he wasn't alone, that was found on 3 of 6 plates tonight. 

And if that's not enough, free-for-all night  got even more adventuresome tonight when one of the kids (you'll have to guess which one) declared that it was also utensil free night.  Eggs, spaghetti, whatever you want, no forks necessary.  I disappointed him sorely when I used a spoon to eat my yogurt.

If you would have to me even 5 years ago that dinner at my house would look like this I would have said you were crazy.  But that's the Lassiter adventure, pushing me joyously outside of my comfort zone, or in this case my manner zone - but just for 1 night! 

And did anyone notice that Cullen is eating dinner in his fleece pj's?  No comment. 

Missing Gram

It has been 2 years since our adventure to Europe and my last blog post, but as we started our summer adventures this year I thought that perhaps it was time to start blogging again.  We surely don't need to travel over seas to have fun and lot of stories.  In fact it was the many one-liners from this past weekend's trip (only 3 hours from home) that made me want to start writing them down.  So as I logged on to start blogging again I realized that I never posted this last post from the end of our European adventure, perhaps because it was too raw at the time.  Now two years have passed and I still miss Gram like crazy and she still comes up in conversation regularly.  So before I go on to this summer's adventures, here is a flashback to the week Gram passed, still sad to be missing her but a celebration of her memory...


So much has happened in the few weeks since our European Adventure... 1 broken collar bone, 2 kids started first grade, 3 kids attended peace camp, 4 of us went to the beach, 5 days in Texas for Justin, 6 football practices so far, 7 pumpkins and gourds harvested from Ethan's garden, and so much more.

Sadly one of the things that happened was the passing of Gram, the same Gram that encouraged me to start writing this blog (see my first post ever).

As we were cleaning out her apartment dad came across a folder full of all the blog posts I had written before she got sick, she had printed out every single one.  When I talked to her the week we got back from Europe it was like she had been there with us as we reminisced about so many of the fun moments we had while we were there.  We were even blessed to get to skype together 3 times while we were in France, how cool is that!

Gram was 94 when she peacefully left us to be with our Heavenly Father, she was a woman of great faith.  She gave wonderful advice and told it like it was.  I learned so much from her about parenting and loving, I hope that I can touch half as many lives in my lifetime as she did in hers. Gram could talk to anyone forever and whoever she was talking to knew that she was genuinely interested in what they were saying, it was a gift that I so admired and benefited from. And no one else could talk someone into doing exactly what she wanted without ever getting angry or making them angry, not the way Gram could -- when I had to "pull a Gram" with the phone company last week I was grateful for her example, friendly but forceful.  Gram also taught me things like "it doesn't matter how well you play, it's how you look from the road" and "if you don't know the answer make it up, just be sure you sell it well".  Don't worry, I may use that last tip on my kids but never my students :)  Most of all Gram taught me so much about loving people and loving God.  I miss Gram, so many people miss Gram, her life was a gift to this world.

Jax is Famous

Ok, maybe famous is a bit of a stretch, let's go with local celebrity.  At least he thinks so, and what kid wouldn't... he can't go anywhere around town without someone asking "are you that kid from the newspaper"?  Yep, he is.  From the cover of the newspaper in fact, and 2 weeks in a row. 

When Jax started his fundraiser for the orphanage someone suggested that we contact the local paper so I mentioned it to someone I kind of knew from when I had written some articles for the paper.  Then surprise, the week after we returned from our adventure I got a call from a reporter at the Daily News Record, Harrisonburg's local newspaper, and they wanted to interview me and Jax.  We both proudly, in our own ways, told the reporter all about Jax's story, his fundraiser, and our trip.  Sure enough a couple weeks later the newspaper arrives on our front porch and there is baby Jax on the front cover: Born of Revolution, Part I!

The first part of the story was a bit of a surprise for us, focusing on his adoption.  The second part is what we were looking forward to, the part about him raising money to take to the orphanage. 

The lady at the post office, the grocery store clerk, camp counselors, teachers, you name it they saw it.  Jax is pretty humble about his fame, but enjoying it for sure.  One of the things that struck us most is how many people still read the newspaper! 

I have no idea how to or if I'm even allowed to post the article here, probably not, so if you want to read it send me an email and I'll try to get you a copy -- we only asked every single person we know to give us their paper those days!  This is yet another proud mommy moment and totally scrap book worthy, as Jax has already reminded me numerous times.  

These were the two cover photos:

Ukrainian Orphan Finds Place with Bridgewater Family

 

Kid Gets Cooking

What I've Learned About My Kids

1. They are awesome!!!  Let's just start with that.

2. They are traveling masters.  They traveled better than some adults I've seen.  And this trip sure did put them to the test with numerous flights, long car rides, hours in airports and lines.  Never once did we have to remind them to put on a seat belt, stop kicking the seat, or to stop screaming.  Maybe there is something magical about mega trips because now that I'm editing this I'm thinking back to just yesterday when I had to remind them of all three of those things just to get from our driveway to the church - 5 whole long minutes.  But even on the long trip home from Europe which was a total bummer (because we all still wanted to be on vacation) they did amazingly well. 

It reminds me of last summer when Jax and I missed a connecting flight home from San Francisco and had to spend the night in the airport.  While other people were angrily complaining and fretting Jax walked right over to the map and started studying it.  When I asked him what he was doing he said "I'm looking up all the 24-hour restaurants so we know where to go if we get hungry".  Then we settled down with some blankets the airline had given us and never once did he complain. 

Here's how we made the most of our time on the subway:

 Of course Cullen is sleeping, what else. 

The silly faces game never gets dull.  I promise they can do better than this.


We were certainly bored by the time we were waiting for our 4th flight home so in between dreaming about where we might travel next we pulled out this little trick, thanks to a tip from some awesome friends who have traveled with kids!

Blue painters tape, aka hours of entertainment.  They can tape anything they want and never ruin a thing, fantastic!  Folks, try this at home!

3. Maybe this should have been #1 -- They don't know how to be quiet.  This is not unique to when we are traveling, but it certainly becomes more obvious when we are in a foreign country where their loud English speaking draws attention.  Of course maybe it is best that they were speaking a foreign language, at least in France when they said "Hey, look at that lady..." she couldn't understand what they were saying.  Or one of my personal favorites, "don't they know that smoking is bad for them" (though sometimes not quite that nicely put). And they certainly had plenty of chances to say that in both France and Europe. 

Often times their noise was not bad, just noisy.  Living in hotels and apartments where I was concerned about them waking the neighbors - at 6am because they certainly weren't sleeping in! - really made me realize how loud they are and I guess I'm just really good at tuning it out at home.  If you want a good laugh just ask Cullen to whisper, it's hilarious hearing him try, though maybe not so much if you were our neighbor at 6am.  I suppose that noise is just part of what comes with a large family, and especially with a super talkative older brother, you have to be loud to get a word in and they have all mastered that skill. 

4.  When they finally are quiet it means they are sleeping and that is so sweet.  It's always such a joy to watch babies sleep, so peacefully, and these are still my babies.  

Someday Jax will look back at this picture and be so embarrassed but there was no air conditioning in this 5th floor apartment, they were exhausted and hot and I think it is so cute -- now he's even more embarrassed that I called him cute :)

5.  They may think I'm goofy but sometimes that is appreciated.  Exhibt #1, the silly calendar I made for them to track our trip.  Ethan used it every day:

 

Jax never seemed to look at his but once we got home he put it up on his shelf.  Did you hear that, it made the shelf!  So what if it is behind his rain-gutter regatta trophy and star wars figures, the fact that he deemed it worthy of the shelf at all is pretty cool. 

 

And I love the fact that they're not old enough yet to be embarrassed by mom and dad's silly songs and games to keep them moving when they are getting tired or grumpy.  I Wanna Hold Your Hand and Stuck Like Glue are two of our favorites -- thanks Beatles and Sugarland.  Again, goofy but appreciated, at least for now, please don't let them ever grow out of that.

 

There were so many great things about this vacation but getting to spend 3 weeks playing, learning, and experiencing new things with Justin and the kids is most definitely the greatest thing.  Now friends, please remind me of this tomorrow, the day before school (finally) starts while I'm trying to get stuff done and they are all trying to strangle each other, or I'm ready to strangle them.   

Then and Now

We are finally getting back to normal, which really isn't saying much :).  But really, it is nice to be able to sleep past 5am and to get back into routine.  On Saturday Cullen fell soundly asleep at 5pm, of course we could foresee 3am the next morning so we were determined to get him to WAKE UP!  I thought we finally had him up so I stepped into the kitchen and I came back to find this:

Completely back asleep, practically standing up!  Notice that we had to revert to the old strip him down technique, we hadn't pulled out the cold washcloth, yet.  This reminded me of when we took him to get his passport photo made at 3 weeks old, he had to have his eyes open for the picture, it went almost exactly like this - except that time his excuse was he was 3 weeks old!, this time his excuse was jet lag.  Sure enough, despite our best efforts he was up at 3:30am raring to go.  Sigh.

So now that we are awake I'm starting to look through some pictures and I thought some of you might be interested in seeing some then & now pictures.  Prepare to be amazed!

Kherson Baby Home, Then (2004)

Kherson Baby Home, Now

Katya, Then (2008)

Katya, Now

Same playground with a paint job.  Katya enjoyed it just as much this time as the first time she was there, though she had no memory of being there before.  And she didn't even question why I made her peek through the blocks to take her picture (it was spontaneous in 2008, not so much this time but it's not hard to get her to smile for a camera!).


Jax, Then (2004)

Jax, Now 

He wouldn't let me hold him like a baby, go figure, so no exact comparison with Jax but wow, what an amazing brave boy we have (both then and now)! 

Home Sweet Home

We're home!  That's it, home! 

Not really, you know I have more pictures and stories to tell.  But for now I just wanted to tell everyone that we made it, safe and sound.  We're doing laundry and loving Sammy and the back yard.  Everyone is happy to be here, but missing vacation too, already ready to plan the next one, with lots of interesting debate over where the "next one" should be -- not sure when we'll break it to them that the next one will be many years from now.  For now it is a struggle just to stay awake, but in the coming week I'll post some more.  Here are a few pictures that I don't think ever made it to the blog, more to come.

 

 

Visiting The Orphanage

On July 23, more than 8 years since he left, Jax returned to the orphanage where he lived for his first year of life. 

This day was full of questions and nerves and emotions.  By the end of our two hour visit Jax was already asking when he could come back and play with the kids again, and he has asked multiple times since.  As soon as we arrived in Kiev he had some very good and difficult questions.  Up until the night before we were scheduled to visit the orphanage he wavered in his desire to go there, understandably, but now he seems very glad that he visited and also very glad to be coming home.  

I asked Jax if it was ok for me to write about this on the blog and he said yes.  I asked him what he would like me to say and he said to tell about giving the donation and playing with the kids and that it was good.  I will expand a bit more, with his permission. 

The orphanage he was in is the baby home in Kherson, the kids stay only until age 3 or 4.  Ethan jumped right in and started playing with the little ones when we arrived, they were charmed by him and he loves babies.  Cullen and Katya just started playing, to them this was no different than any other playground.  Jax was understandably a bit timid but didn't want to leave when time was up.  He has commented on how happy most of them seemed when they were playing but how sad they must be inside since they don't have a mom and dad.  How tender and insightful and hard to reconcile. 

There were a few nurses and the director that remembered Jax.  The director is very kind and caring, we were pleased to see her again.  Everyone there seemed thrilled to see him and know how well he was doing.  I think he was a bit overwhelmed with being the center of attention but he handled all the hugs very well, and if you know Jax you know how hard this was for him.  

They gave him a tour of his old group rooms where they ate, slept, and played.  He didn't remember anything but just took it all in, most interested in the kids eating their morning snack.  

When he gave the director his donation ($960, wow!) and explained how he had raised the money she was surprised and very happy.  It was the best reaction we could have hoped for Jax in this long anticipated moment.  She asked if it was ok to use some of the money to buy fresh fruit and ice cream for the children.  Of course Jax was thrilled, food is the thing he most wanted for them and he didn't even have to say so.  What a blessing it was to see God at work in every detail of this visit.  Thank you to everyone who contributed and encouraged and prayed for his fundraiser, this was such a special moment that you helped make possible.

It is impossible to describe or to even know the full impact of this visit.  It is so good that we went and I feel confident that it was overall positive.  The orphanage and especially the play equipment seemed to be in better condition than when we had been there last which was nice to see.  As we remembered, the nurses seemed to really care about and care well for the kids.  It was very good for all of us, but especially Jax to see this firsthand.  

It was also extremely hard for us to leave and say goodbye to the kids there knowing that we were going home as a family, something they may never know.  I have no doubt we will be processing this experience for a long time.  Our continued prayer is that Jax will always talk openly with us about his past, his fears, his questions, his dreams, all of it.  

And of course we pray constantly for orphans, not just here but around the world and in our own towns.  We have faces now to put with some of these prayers, and heavy hearts too.  Constantly on this day and this entire trip we have been reminded of God's provision and care and we are reminded now to trust that He is caring for the kids that we can not tangibly help.

Another unknown with this visit was Katya.  Katya was not in this same orphanage or even this city, but there are many similarities and she has a much better chance of remembering things. God was merciful to her and to our family in that the orphanage visit did not stir up any trauma for her, or at least not that we could tell.  She did say "I remember this room with all the beds next to each other" when we went into the group bedroom, but she did not freak out.  In fact she has slept relatively well for much of the trip, that is nothing short of a miracle.  I was also fearful that certain types of toilets might trigger a negative memory but they didn't.  The food, smells, sights, language all seemed foreign to her for the entire trip, in both France and Ukraine.  She never asked any questions about her town, her adoption, and most often did not really even know what country we were in.  This is for the best in her case, for now at least.  Though we have always been open with the kids and willing to answer any questions about their adoptions I think it is a blessing that Katya understands so little of it right now as she continues to work through her emotional struggles.

Interestingly yesyerday, in addition to multiple questions about when he could come back to play with the kids again Jax also suggested coming back someday and starting a humane society in Ukraine.  He has been struck by all the stray dogs and frustrated that we won't let him pet them all.  In his words, "I have a soft spot in my heart for dogs".  Me too!  Ethan followed this conversation up by asking when we could "fix" Sammy, our 10 year old spayed dog, so they she could have puppies, ha!  But really, what a thoughtful idea and positive response to something that could be viewed very negatively. 

I think and hope that this week in Ukraine has helped Jax to know and understand some of his history and has endeared him to the country of his birth.   We have seen and tasted and experienced so many great things that Ukraine and specifically Kherson has to offer. I also know that this week has exposed him to some realities that are hard to imagine when a comfortable life in the U.S. is all you have ever known.  He has avoided conversation about most of this for now.

Jax has a huge heart and I hope there is always a place in it for Ukraine and for orphans.  I am in awe of his maturity and generosity and strenght.  What an amazing kid and gift to our family!  We are blessed to have four unique, special, wonderful kids!  

I love to look at these pictures and notice most prominently the smile on Jax's face in every one.  Even when he was hanging back taking it all in he was still smiling.

As we all sat around the table for lunch after the visit we were eating something that was familiar to him from our home and he said, "It feels like home.  Well, I guess I am at home in a way."  :)

I want to publicly thank Gene for helping us make this visit possible.  He planned all of our time in Kherson from the amazing excursions to this very special orphanage visit.  He was a wonderful translator and facilitator and we are happy to now call him a friend.  I thank his family for sharing him with us for a few days.